40 Life Lessons From 40 Years

I’m a fan of the old Latin trope “Memento Mori”, which means, remember that you have to die. This concept is not something I use to bring about depressive thoughts but actually quite the opposite. I find that continually contemplating death allows me to focus on what is most important for myself and my family. 

I often think about what would be my biggest regrets if I were to die tomorrow, what would my 3 boys say about me, what would my wife remember me by, would my neighbors say that I was a good person?

One thought that is always in the back of my mind as I contemplate the finality of this life is worry about my three boys. I worry that I would not have enough time on this earth to give my boys the advice that I wish I would have had during my formative years. This feeling was the impetus for this blog and subsequently the purpose behind many of the articles that I have written over the years. Not to be taken as hard truths, but more like subtle nudges in the direction that I have found to be best. 

For this purpose I have decided to summarize 40 life lessons from my first 40 years on earth. 

1. To build a healthy relationship, forget the fancy dinners and extravagant gifts, and simply make a habit of walking with those you want to form a stronger bond.
2. Don’t spend money on fancy clothes, instead, spend time and money on your physical health. A fit body feels better and looks good in anything
3. When it’s all said and done, nice guys always finish first.
4. Contemplate death daily.
5. The best things in life are not things. 
6. If you are doing something for the sole purpose of posting it on social media, then don’t do it.
7. Never back your car into a parking spot, only the pompous do that. 
8. Eat more protein, less carbs, and enjoy the fat. 
9. Don’t spend on the latest trends when a plain black t-shirt will do for 90% of occasions. 
10. Stop giving up on your dreams because of the lie that “life is too short”. For the majority life is long, not short. 
11. Instead of making achievable goals for the year, make audacious 5 and 10 year goals. We often overestimate what we can accomplish in the short term and underestimate what can be done over longer periods of time. 
12. Don’t be afraid to be silly, nobody is really watching anyways.
13. Only take advice from those that are exactly where you want to be.
14. To be happy, simply try to do difficult things and the happiness will follow. 
15. If you want to make a difference in the world, take the hard path instead of the easy one.  Everyone else has already tried the easy path,  and look where they are now. 
16. Make a habit of investing 50% of your take home pay and you will never have to stress about retirement. 
17. If you didn’t make the team it’s not because the coach hates you, if you didn’t get the job it’s not because the boss hates you, it’s because you weren’t good enough. Improve where you can, and try again. 
18. Everything worthwhile and good in this life comes after doing the difficult thing first, everything. Marriage. Kids. Business. Happiness. etc. 
19. Never trust someone that doesn’t like dogs. 
20. Never trust someone who has more than 2 cats.
21. When upset over a situation, go for a walk, eat a good meal, and sleep. You will always feel better after.
22. Buying new clothes or toys will not make you happy, but a long hike in nature will.
23. Don’t feel bad when you say no to something, because saying no to one thing means you are saying yes to something more important to you. 
24. When it comes to possessions, less is always more. When it comes to experiences, more is often better.
25. Playing video games will never make you a better person.
26. Social media can be used for good, but 99% of the time it isn’t. 
27. Create something you can share with others and you will have an instant connection to what you were created for. 
28. Everyone feels anxious, depressed, sad, mad, and afraid from time to time, you are not broken, you are human. 
29. If someone says they are a “guru”, run as far away as you can from that person. If someone says they are a student, lean in. 
30. Convenience is not the answer to contentment. We pay for convenience not only with our pocketbooks but with our health and happiness as well. 
31. Everything in life is earned. There is not a quick fix to our health, happiness, relationships, or wealth. 
32. Stop taking yourself so seriously, nobody remembers what you wore to the party or what car you drove to get there. People do remember a smile and a good conversation. 
33. You are never behind in life, in knowledge, and experience, because in the timeline of eternity everything you do, learn, feel, and fail at will be for you to keep. 
34. Life is not about the journey, it’s actually all about the destination. Without a destination there is no journey to embark on, rather a meandering through life without purpose. 
35. Forgiving others is commendable, forgiving yourself is divine. 
36. Enthusiasm is the secret sauce to an invigorating life.
37. Make your health your number 1 priority because without it you are nothing. 
38. Watch less sporting events and play more sports.
39. Bored is not bad, but busy without a purpose usually is. 
40. Have the courage to be disliked.

These are the 40 pieces of advice I wanted to share on my 40th year of life on earth. That doesn’t mean that next year they won’t differ completely. Life is about learning, implementing, failing, and learning some more. The fact of the matter is that nobody has it all figured out, we just like to pretend that we do. So go out and have fun finding your own truisms and feel free to share them with the world.