Everything good in my life has come through the path of sacrifice and difficulty. EVERYTHING! I would venture to say that this holds true for you as well. Think about it…The birth of a child, losing weight, building stronger muscles, marriage, acing a test in school, mastering a new language, finishing a strenuous hike, learning to play a musical instrument, etc etc. The list of things that are difficult yet rewarding goes on and on. It’s easy to see that taking the difficult path leads to amazing rewards in the long run, so why is it so difficult to push ourselves to do hard things in life?
Why do we choose the easy path?
Maybe it’s because it’s our human nature to seek an easier and safer path. It’s something that has been hardwired into our chemistry via thousands of years of evolution. Back when our ancestors were living in caves and foraging for water, food, and shelter it was wise to conserve energy until it was necessary to expend that energy. There was no use in wasting time and calories on trivial aspects of life when you might need that energy to chase down your next meal, run from predators, or spend it looking for a reliable water source.
Flash forward thousands of years and we find ourselves in a very different situation. Most of us, at least in the highly developed westernized countries, have food, water, entertainment, and housing all available to us in abundance. There is no need for us to consciously conserve our energy for a possible attack from a predator or long periods of time without food or water. However, our innate desire defaults to us continuing to seek the path of least resistance. This desire, coupled with an addiction to instant gratification, has made it easy for corporations to take advantage. Their job is to make it easier and more satisfying to stay on the effortless path. There is a lot of money to be made by selling the cushy lifestyle that we think leads to happiness. The odds have been stacked against us making it easier and easier to lead a cushy, effortless lifestyle. Which in turn leads to dissatisfaction.
The easy things that we all do
Why make our own food when we can pay someone to make it for us? Why sit in uncomfortable silence when we can effortlessly stream the latest episode of Game of Thrones? Why struggle to learn a new language when I can easily buy an app on my phone to translate everything for me? Why push myself to learn to play an instrument when Spotify Premium can play all the songs I like with a simple click of a button? Why walk 15 minutes to the grocery store when I can drive in my temperature-controlled $50,000 vehicle that will get me there in 5 minutes?
My friends therein lies the conundrum. To live an easy life without pain or discomfort or, to live a difficult one with pain intermingled with intense pleasures. Which path have you chosen for yourself?
We are meant to feel pain and pleasure
By continuously seeking the uncomplicated, undemanding, and painless path in life, we’re missing out on a large part of what we were originally programmed to do as humans. We were not meant to lounge around in an air-conditioned room whilst stuffing our faces and binge-watching television. We were meant to struggle, to sweat, to have sore muscles, to fall, and to rise again stronger than before. We were sent here to feel pain and pleasure, but most importantly to feel alive.
Only in the storm can you see the art of the real sailor; only on the battlefield can you see the bravery of a soldier. The courage of a simple person can be seen in how he copes with the difficult and dangerous situations in life. – Daniel Achinsky
Difficult situations are a blessing
A large portion of today’s anxiety and depression issues can be fixed with a mindset change from constantly seeking the easier path to seeking after doing the hard things in life. I know this because I have done it. I have made the switch and now want to share this with everyone I meet. It’s a superpower knowing that whatever comes your way can be dealt with however you choose. You are in control by deciding to see hard situations as a blessing, not a curse.
We know that there cannot be light without darkness, there cannot be happiness without sadness, we don’t grow stronger muscles without tears in them caused by the stress from the added weight. In life, there is opposition in all things. Unfortunately, we live in a world that has become easier and easier. We can order our groceries online and have it delivered directly to our doorstep without ever leaving the comfort of our couch. We can delegate any chore that might cause discomfort as long as the price is right. We have endless entertainment at our fingertips without ever leaving the comfort of our homes. We don’t even have to talk to our friends and family face-to-face anymore because of the widespread use of cell phones, shoot we don’t even have to use our voice to communicate with our peeps… we can just text.
Not all easy paths are bad
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a Luddite and I’m all for advancement in society. We have come a long way in the past 100 years. Many of the advancements have saved lives and gave us years back both in improved health and improved time management. The improvement in medical advancements alone has saved countless lives in the past 100 years. I’m not advocating cutting all improvements to make our lives easier. Having a toilet and toilet paper are advancements that I’m extremely grateful for and in that instance will choose the easier path as opposed to squatting in my yard.
Choose the difficult path
My point is this. If you are sick of getting the results you have always gotten in life, then do this one thing and you will feel a major shift. CHOOSE THE DIFFICULT PATH. Instead of kicking your feet up with a night of ice cream and Netflix, go outside and walk for an hour. Maybe, choose to read a book or go to the gym. Get outside of your comfort zone and take a cold shower. Instead of waking up 20 minutes before work, try setting your alarm 60 minutes earlier, and go to the gym. Try your hand at meditation. Apply for that job that seems way out of your league. In a world where extra effort is often frowned upon, be different and opt for extreme effort in everything you do.
The difference between those people that take their abilities and achieve great things and those that squander their time and don’t ever seem to achieve much, is what is done when faced with the choice between taking the hard path or the easy path. If you think about all the great achievements that have been accomplished in history. At some point, the people responsible for those extraordinary feats were faced with a question. Do I push myself to continue forward on this difficult path or do I take the easy way out and opt for a life that’s a little easier?
Electing to take the hard path is not easy and definitely not fun, nor is it warm and fuzzy. When we choose the hard path the reward doesn’t come until later, and often much later. That is the key. We have become a culture of instant gratification. We want results and we want it now. If a video doesn’t grab our attention in the first 15 seconds, we move on to the next. If our significant other isn’t giving us that burning in the bosom, we discard them for the next. We swipe left, we swipe right etc, etc.
Opting to take the hard path is a gut punch to our psyche. We have to forcefully say to ourselves “I know this is going to hurt, I know this is not going to be fun, BUT… it will be worth it in the long run”. The first few gut punches are usually the worst and hardest to convince our brains that taking a cold shower is better for us in the long run than sitting in the warm shower while singing and dancing the morning away. As soon as we see the benefits of doing hard things, our minds will eventually come along for the ride. Soon, our minds will race ahead to think of the next difficult journey to tackle. We’ll eventually train ourselves to start looking for the challenges to take instead of the shortcuts to weasel our way through.
We have it all wrong
In our society, there’s been a lot of talk about people needing to “rise above” their difficulties, or people needing to “forge ahead” to speed past their rough patches in life. Maybe, just maybe, difficult times are not meant to be speed through. Maybe the secret to life is the opposite, in that we are meant to experience pain so we can enjoy the easy times even more. It is possible that we have it all wrong, that the difficult times are actually the times we should seek after in this life. I have never come out of a difficult situation wishing I had never gone through it, never. Now, during the hard patches in life, when I’m in the trenches trying to survive, I’m definitely not wishing it would last forever. But, as soon as it passes I have a clearer understanding of my purpose on earth and gratitude for life itself. I always learn and grow from the difficulties. By making that simple switch in our mindset we can tackle anything that comes our way with gratitude and optimism.
Too often we seek comfort instead of significance. Comfort produces soft and unremarkable, while discomfort produces strong and significant. Take a stand and choose significance over comfort.
How to fix depression and anxiety
The remedy to the increasing numbers of people dealing with depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts can all be remedied by making this mindset change: Stop seeking an easier life. Instead, when faced with a decision, start choosing the difficult path. Try to do hard things each day. I’m not saying it always has to be some big intense trial or something that will place you in danger. All I recommend is making small and simple switches throughout that day that make you think a little more, work a little harder, and maybe even break a sweat while doing it.
It’s easy to open your phone and scroll mindlessly for an hour. Instead, open a book read, or meditate for an hour.
It’s easy to have your groceries ordered and delivered to your home. Why not decide to ride your bike to the store and purchase your groceries in person.
Instead of buying your veggies pre-cut, pull out a knife and cut your own veggies, or better yet, grow your own.
Some may say, “Well, with the time I can save by (insert any easy task) I can have more time, and time is our most important asset”. That is a great argument, however, the important question to that is, what are you doing with that time you have just saved? Was that extra time needed so you could watch an extra episode of your favorite show on Netflix? Was that extra time needed so you could scroll through Instagram and Facebook for an extra hour without feeling guilty? I will let you answer those questions for yourself.
Happiness is not found on easy street
The fact of the matter is that we have become a society that seeks the simple path thinking that’s where happiness can be found. We see people on social media relaxing on the beach with their feet up drinking from a coconut and think that’s the goal to strive for. The easy life, as seen from afar, seems to be a place of contentment and bliss. However, time and time again we see that the progressive race to an easier life end with disappointment and difficulty. Why do you think most lottery winners end up losing everything, depressed, and left wondering where it all went wrong. Money used to purchase an easier more relaxed lifestyle ends up forcing us into a never-ending loop of dissatisfaction.
It’s all about our mindset
If we adapt to the mentality that doing difficult things are in fact beneficial we then can more easily accept the catastrophes that inevitably come to pass in our lives. Whether that be a difficult diagnosis from our doctor, the death of a loved one, or any other traumatic incident, we can rest a little easier knowing that the difficult things in life are there to teach us, thus allowing us to grow and improve. Even the smallest inconveniences can be something to learn from and thus grow. Why not decide to turn those inconveniences into opportunities. Instead of seeing the broken elevator as an inconvenience, see it as a sign that maybe you should be taking the stairs anyway. Instead of complaining about the traffic on your way to work, maybe think about riding your bike to work instead. This mindset, in turn, helps us to realize that there isn’t some big scheme set up in the world to constantly deal us the bad hand in life.
This is not a new concept
Difficult times are not happening because someone or something is conspiring against us, but rather, these hard things have been happening to people for centuries before us. We realize that bad things happen to everyone, the only difference is how we decide to react to each situation. Nobody can make us think a certain way. We are always in control of our mindset. However, I do realize that it’s a difficult mindset shift to master, but when we do, the stress and anxiety of everyday life seems to just melt away.
We can do it
We all have things that scare us. Things that we perceive to be difficult and downright impossible for us to face. The key is to find those things in your life. Think about them. Write them down. Talk about them. Don’t shy away, instead, lean into the hard situation. Instead of finding a shortcut through the difficulty to make the pain as minimal as possible, choose the long route. Plain and simple, do the hard things, go after that which scares you, and reap the rewards along the way. DO. HARD. THINGS!
