On that first day we met, I felt emotions that can’t be described adequately. It was like a big euphoria, excitement, and anxious omelette with a side of “I’m going to poop my pants”. That’s the best I can do to describe my feelings the day you entered this world.
Your mom and I decided not to find out your gender beforehand. We figured as long as you were healthy we were happy for whatever variation of human God gave us.
As you entered into this world, the announcement was made that you were a beautiful baby boy and I let out a “whoop” for everyone to hear. I couldn’t help but let out my overflowing excitement.
As the days went by and the nights filled with craziness, I finally came back down to healthy dopamine and adrenaline levels. Then came the questions slowly seeping in…
Questions like…
What does it mean to be a Man?
What kind of father do I want to be?
How do I change a diaper without getting poop on my hands?
When do I start to teach this precious, innocent little human how to grow into an upstanding man?
Am I the type of man I want my son to become?
Flash forward 3 years and these same questions encircle my thoughts. Some days I think I have it figured out, but most days I read articles, ask for advice and pray for guidance. I have come to understand that I don’t have all the answers to these questions and will continue to seek guidance and understanding as I grow. I’m still learning, implementing, and improving what it means to be a man. However, there are a few things that I know to be true when it comes to becoming a man in today’s day and age.
Below are the concepts I have found to be true as of now. These are not laws or rules that need to be strictly followed. Find what resonates with you and aim for that as you strive to become a man.
Men are not afraid of failure.
You were sent to this earth at this very time for a very special purpose. It is up to you to search for that purpose and chase it with all your might. As you find your path in life and try new things you will inevitably fail, and that’s ok. As long as you understand that failure paves the path to improvement. If you want to move forward and feel stuck in life, it usually means you need to take a chance on something and be willing to fail. You, in turn, will learn, and inevitably grow. Before you know it you will be further down the path.
Failure is good. Failure means you are pushing the limits and expanding your horizons. A real man understands this and does not dwell in defeat, but rather stands up, dusts himself off, and goes back to the battlefield ready to implement a new strategy to the game of life. With this mindset, failure turns from something to be avoided into something that can be accepted, even welcomed, knowing that progress is taking place.
Men choose to do hard things.
Men always take the difficult and uncomfortable path in life. I want to be very clear about this point. I am not saying to do crazy, or dangerous things. Doing difficult things look like taking care of yourself as well as your family. It looks like going to bed early and waking up early to improve physically in the gym. Doing hard things also looks like deleting social media accounts on your phone, and saying your sorry when you are wrong. It looks like taking 10 minutes each day to pray or meditate. Doing difficult things in life are usually the tasks that most people look over and opt for more comfortable paths.
The difference between those people that achieve great things and those that squander their time and don’t ever achieve much, is what is done when faced with the choice between choosing the hard path or the easy path. If you think about all the great achievements that have been accomplished in history. At some point, the people responsible for those extraordinary feats were faced with a question. Do I push myself to continue forward on this difficult path or do I take the easy way out and opt for a life that’s a little more comfortable? A true man opts for the difficult path.
Being a man doesn’t always have to be “manly.”
Sometimes being a man involves things that one doesn’t associate with manliness. Opening a door for someone, treating others with respect, listening to different opinions without being offended, meditating, being grateful for each day you are given, and being present in the moment are a few examples. Please, do not ever mistake humility and meekness for weakness. It takes a strong, confident, manly human to accomplish the things stated above.
Men take responsibility for their actions.
When you make a mistake, own it, rectify the situation, and move on. Sometimes we do stupid things. That’s just a part of growing up. It’s easy to blame others for our mistakes or the situation we are in. It’s easy for others to affect how we feel. Instead, choose to be accountable for the situation you are in and find ways to improve them. Nobody can make you feel stressed, anxious, sad, or depressed. Those feelings are all self-inflicted. Take responsibility for what you can control and forget the rest.
Men understand that nobody owes them anything.
The only person you can 100% depend on in life is YOU. This may seem a little harsh at first glance, but when you dig deep down it makes sense. Don’t count on other people or things to give you happiness, that comes from within. Don’t count on other people to hold your hand down that path of life. If you want something, go out and work towards each and every goal you set, because nobody will do it for you.
A man does not worry about the opinions of others.
The only opinion that matters is what you think of the person you see in the mirror. What you know deep down about yourself, what you do behind closed doors when nobody is watching is more important than any opinion someone might have about you. Social media can’t tell you, your mom can’t tell you, your friends or religious leaders cannot tell you. Only you know who you truly are.
As you take these 6 areas of manliness that I have outlined, remember that your life is a journey of learning, implementation, failure, and improvement. We can always improve our current situation, knowledge level, and traits. Control what you can control and forget the rest. When in doubt as to where to go, always remember our mantra… Do. Hard. Things!
