Just as our favorite meal has a specific recipe that allows us to re-create it time after time, happiness and contentment also have a specific recipe that allows us to re-create these feelings. The key is to experiment with different ingredients to find out what your specific recipe is.
Each happiness recipe will be different for each individual just as everyone’s favorite food is different. We like and dislike different things. Some activities light me up inside and keep me coming back for more. Some activities make me sick to my stomach just thinking about performing them. I often change my mind about what I once enjoyed and what, at one time in my life, brought me happiness.
Your personal happiness recipe is the combination of key elements that match what you deem pleasing to your own palate.
My recipe seems to change from year to year. As I grow and mature so does my taste for what lights me up inside and adds to my happiness recipe. I most definitely don’t recommend trying to add all the sauces at once because just with your favorite dish to eat, too much sauce or spice will ruin the result you are trying to achieve.
Here are 9 of the secret sauces I add to my happiness recipe.
1. Do hard things– Waking up early, running, going to the gym, eating salads, opening up to your partner, keeping a journal, public speaking, are a few examples of hard things that are never atop the “fun list” but, they all hold immense value when embraced and completed. Something special happens to our contentment levels after each and every difficult situation we overcome. Too often we seek comfort instead of significance. Comfort produces soft and unremarkable. Discomfort produces strong and significant. Take a stand and choose significance over comfort.
2. Gratitude in ALL things- Cultivating an attitude of gratitude is nothing new to the philosophy world. For at least 2,000 years, gratitude has been known to have an important role in daily life. Ancient philosophers like Cicero and Seneca continually preached its importance. They even went as far as to say that gratitude was a crucially important virtue that was foundational to a successful civilization. More recently, gratitude has been touted to work to improve both our minds and bodies. According to a 2012 study published in Personality and Individual Differences, grateful people experience fewer aches and pains and report feeling healthier. Those who are grateful are more likely to take care of their health by exercising more regularly.
3. Daily Movement- It doesn’t matter what you do, just move. This can include a walk to the market, yoga, dance, tai chi, CrossFit, running, gardening, riding a bike, and anything else that gets the heart rate up (wink wink). Research shows that daily movement, even if just for as little as 10 minutes a day, can affect our happiness levels significantly. Exercise increases endorphins and other brain chemicals that make us feel good. It also reduces levels of cortisol and adrenaline which are known as the stress hormones. Best of all research has shown that exercise is a proven remedy for both depression and anxiety. Movement is a non-negotiable part of my happiness recipe because when I’m active in the morning the rest of the day just seems to be a little less bumpy. Henry David Thoreau said it best when he stated: “An early morning walk is a blessing for the whole day.” We couldn’t agree more.
4. Drink water- We all know we should be drinking more water. We have heard it time and time again. But, I’m going to say it again… drink more water! Water seems to be the often overlooked key to enhancing our body and mind. It’s so simple and plain and free that we think it couldn’t possibly be the answer we are looking for. We have a headache we opt for more caffeine. We are sad so we look for a prescription. Our joints ache so we reach for the bottle of anti-inflammatories. We want to lose weight so we go on a crash keto/Atkins/south beach/Mediterranean diet. We don’t like wrinkles so we buy a fancy cream etc etc. The crazy thing is that by simply drinking more water we can alleviate many of our issues. It’s so simple that often people don’t attribute the effects of increased H2O intake to the actual practice. Interestingly enough, as time goes by, many myths about healthy habits have been debunked, but there is one healthy habit that continues strong to this day: drinking water is indispensable, even for our mental well-being.
5. Sleep 8 hours- Another one of those “Duh, I know this but I choose not to do it” recommendations. Sadly, these days a lack of sleep and being “busy” seems to be a badge of honor. Just ask the next person you meet how their life is going, the most frequent answer you will hear is, busy or tired. We live in a culture that praises “hustle” and thinks sleeping is being lazy. Interestingly enough Humans are the only species on the planet who will deprive themselves of sleep. Let that sink in for a minute. Improved sleep is the answer to many health issues including decreasing our risk of diabetes, heart disease and cancer, as well as improving our immune system overall. Not only does sleep affect our health, but it affects our happiness as well. Recent research by Daniel Kahneman and Alan B. Krueger found a direct correlation between sleep quality and overall happiness. In fact, the most influential factor in their subjects, rating their daily mood, was sleep quality.
6. Pray- This might be where I lose some people, but that’s ok. I’m unapologetic about what works for me and my happiness recipe. Whatever your beliefs are doesn’t really matter when it comes to prayer because is not exclusive to the religiously affiliated. According to the Pew Research Center’s Religious Landscape Study, 20 percent of Americans who are religiously unaffiliated pray daily. This shouldn’t be surprising when we see the number of studies that suggest prayer is positively associated with mental well-being and physical health. A few of those studies can be found here, here, and here.
7. Meditate- Meditation has become increasingly popular in recent years and with good reason. The practice of meditation is the practice of being present, which turns out, is a key factor in our overall happiness. Not only have I experienced the benefits in my own life by adopting a meditation practice, but there are loads of research on meditation and its benefits. A few of my favorites include a study by neuroscientist Sara Lazar which showed that meditation can significantly reduce anxiety and fear by shrinking the amygdala, which is the specific area in the brain that controls those emotions. Another interesting study was done by a research team at U.C. Davis where they showed that daily meditation practice can lower the amount of cortisol in the body, which is also known as the stress hormone. Decrease cortisol, decrease stress, equals more room for more contentment.
8. Learn something new- As we push boundaries and continue to learn and grow we, in turn, gain a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction with life. We are not here to wake, work, eat, and watch Netflix. We are here to learn, to challenge ourselves, to fail, and to grow. As human beings, we have a natural desire to learn and improve. Keeping an open, growth-centered outlook on life seems to be the holy grail to happiness. This doesn’t mean we have to go back to school to enjoy the benefits of learning new things. It can be as simple as picking up a new book at the library about a topic you are interested in learning about. Or, my favorite, open up YouTube and learn a new skill like building furniture, fixing the sink, or changing your own oil. It turns out, that continuing to learn as we age can contribute to not only a happier demeanor but a longer life as well.
9. Serve others- As the old Chinese saying goes: “If you want happiness for an hour, take a nap. If you want happiness for a day, go fishing. If you want happiness for a year, inherit a fortune. If you want happiness for a lifetime, help somebody.” Many of us don’t have fortunes to donate and therefore feel that we don’t have much to offer others. However, the reality is that ofter the gift of time is much more valuable to both the receiver and the giver. I know I feel that way. When our first child was born we were overwhelmed with well wishes via social media and gifts given via mail, but the gifts that we remember the most were via the currency of time. Don’t get me wrong, we thoroughly appreciated any and all gifts that were given to us to celebrate this wonderful time in our lives. However, there was definitely a different feeling and connection with those that clearly gave of there most valuable and continuously depleting commodity of their own time. There is some compelling scientific research that supports the anecdotal evidence that giving has a specific pathway to happiness and contentment. Research performed with fMRI technology has revealed that giving activates the exact same portions of the brain that are stimulated by food and sex. Serving others is another one of those special sauces to my happiness recipe that continues to be an important ingredient year after year. It seems to be that the key to feeling good about yourself is to first help others feel good about themselves.
Start your own recipe
Start experimenting to find your own recipe for happiness and contentment. Try and apply just a few of the recommended “sauces” from above. Find what works for you. Find what combination lights you up and keeps you coming back for more. Remember, there are no perfect recipes for contentment. There is no “one size fits all” fix to really anything in life. That’s what makes life fun and challenging at the same time. WE each are on our own adventure, and all end up at different destinations.
